all these things that i've done

the lana lang theory

"do you know what it's like to care too much
'bout someone that you're never gonna get to touch
...hey man, now you're really living"

as far as theorems go, this one really isn't groundbreaking. but, from what i've noticed, it does accommodate the 'scientific method' rather intimately. it's a statement i thought up to help explain a certain phenomena i've noticed, especially one that has been repeatedly tested by the masses, although unkowingly and unwittingly, with strikingly similar results. of course, i'm referring to the dreaded heartbreak. shaq had kobe. tom and nicole were an item as were jennifer and brad. even mcdonalds' apple pie found its cosmic date with deep fried destiny at one point, but now they're all baked, so what gives? (i hear that they're still available in all their deep fried goodness in certain countries outside the US, any ideas where??). but more to the point, clark kent and lana lang had each other.
what at one time felt so natural & comfortable, seemed so right & everlasting (shaq/kobe, tom/nicole, jennifer/brad, clark/lana) and tasted so good (apple pie) ultimately came to a disillusioning, and sometimes heartwrenching, end. we all seem to eventually find a love (whether it's a person or a heavenly filled dessert) that just isn't quite ready to return the feelings or is thwarted by geography, a nationwide health conscious craze...or another person.
clark and lana did indeed have each other, but life stepped in and forever changed that. it devastated them both, to be sure, but they found a way to move on. they had to. we all do. clark eventually ended up with lois lane, an intelligent, confident, strong, goal oriented and attractive woman, but, as fans of the comic full well know, clark is never fully able to 'get over' lana which is why it hurts him so everytime he thinks about her. even superman had to learn the hard way, and it's not a stretch to say that "stones taught him to fly". everyone's got their 'lana lang'. even chicks. although it's kinda intriguing when a chick has her 'lana lang', but, i digress.
a similar, but more excruciating, fate befell our friendly, neighborhood wall-crawling superhero, spiderman. for you see, peter parker had to find an inner strength and resolve sufficient enough to overcome the utter tragedy that resulted from the heart-rending and untimely fate that gwen stacie, his first and truest love, devastatingly met. he was a wreck afterwards and his life was in utter and total disarray. the internal battle that raged within him because of his horrible loss was tearing him apart, "it may sound absurd but don't be naive, even heroes have the right to bleed". his reason for being, for continuing, was pretty darn close to non-existant until a certain red head stepped into his life...and 'saved' him. the subsequent super baddies-ass kicking that followed is an indirect result to her.
to mj.
mary jane.
we should all be so fortunate.
now, if you'll excuse me, gotta find out if one of my 'true loves' is here in mexico, the fried to golden perfection ol' school mcdonalds' apple pie. if not, then i too will have to find a way to move on.

posted by spyderman @ 1:37 PM