it was only a cookie
i was 8 yrs old.
so were most of the other kids in my class.
i mention this because i could almost swear there was a 'kid' in our class who was already shaving by then. i think he even had a part-time job at the local auto shop, but that was only to help put himself through school.
and to pay off his bookie.
times were obviously simpler and purer back then.
* * * *
i was starting second grade at this new school, immaculate heart of mary.
(ahhhh, the i.h.m. FOND memories for ALL us poor souls that were fortunate(?) to go there)
it was a private catholic elementary school, replete with colorful irish brogues that went by the names sister ann, sister catherine and sister mary, to name a few (and, judging by the size of their God fearing wooden rulers, had just come from the emerald isle), basketball-wise priests and this ornery janitor straight out of some bad, 70's sitcom who just showered everyone with his less-than charming personality.
in fact, i still quiver everytime i go by the 'cleaning supplies' section at the nearby super mart.
* * * *
my mom, up till then, had been shopping around for the 'ideal institution' in which to put her five children.
i don't know if she eventually tired of the search for the 'perfect school' or if she, after having laid eyes on this school's uniquely tacky uniform, honestly came to the conclusion that this particular school's wardrobe answer to the 'razberry awards' actually equated to a better education.
i really don't know, but maybe we can trace the genesis of my fashion stunted genes to this specific locale. hopefully.
i knew no one coming in. it was tough, but i tried sucking it up. i was used to being a lone wolf. a rambling man. and i was fully prepared, at the ripe old age of 8, to lead out the remainder of my singular existance as just that, an island. and then it happened, just as my class lined up by the water fountains near the cafeteria.
a brave soul ventured forth, broke through my stalwart barrier and offered the gift of friendship. we sealed this newfound companionship as only two 8 yr olds could, through the miraculous wonder of a dessert filled packed lunch.
his dessert, for that matter.
we broke cookie that day and have been best of friends ever since.
* * * * *
in case you were wondering, i brougt the m&m's the following day.
my ride
i used to own a blue jeep cherokee.
actually, it was light blue and it complemented the baby blue of my blue and gold ucla spirit very well. go bruins.
it was a little older. slightly bruised and battered, but it kept on truckin'. very similar in characteristic to yours truly.
but alas, that jeep has now been put out to pasture. *sigh*
once i arrived in mexico city, i was given a red jeep liberty. one of the nice perks of my job. i hesitated bonding with this vehicle at first, seeing as how the void in my heart had not completely healed.
but, just as a connection was forming; just as i was growing accustomed to the way the cup holders held my goblet of caffeinated ambrosia just so, and as the leather interior began perfectly molding itself to the firm, yet manly, contours of my buttocks, BAM! it was broken into!
nothing of note was stolen, save for the stock radio. whew!
"HAVE THE COPS FOUND THE CULPRITS?"
"DIDN'T YOU HAVE A CLUB? SOMETYPE OF DETERRENT, LIKE AN ALARM? A CHICKEN'S FOOT?"
'a chicken's foot?'
"HOW ABOUT LO-JACK??! ANYTHING???".
'relax' i said. i've got something BETTER than any of that.
i've got full coverage insurance.
i now drive a silver ford escape, but, i'll never forget my azure jewel. my departed and trusted sapphire friend.
my precious.
the lana lang theory
"do you know what it's like to care too much
'bout someone that you're never gonna get to touch
...hey man, now you're really living"
as far as theorems go, this one really isn't groundbreaking. but, from what i've noticed, it does accommodate the 'scientific method' rather intimately. it's a statement i thought up to help explain a certain phenomena i've noticed, especially one that has been repeatedly tested by the masses, although unkowingly and unwittingly, with strikingly similar results. of course, i'm referring to the dreaded heartbreak.
shaq had kobe. tom and nicole were an item as were jennifer and brad. even mcdonalds' apple pie found its cosmic date with deep fried destiny at one point, but now they're all baked, so what gives? (i hear that they're still available in all their deep fried goodness in certain countries outside the US, any ideas where??). but more to the point, clark kent and lana lang had each other.
what at one time felt so natural & comfortable, seemed so right & everlasting (shaq/kobe, tom/nicole, jennifer/brad, clark/lana) and tasted so good (apple pie) ultimately came to a disillusioning, and sometimes heartwrenching, end. we all seem to eventually find a love (whether it's a person or a heavenly filled dessert) that just isn't quite ready to return the feelings or is thwarted by geography, a nationwide health conscious craze...or another person.
clark and lana did indeed have each other, but life stepped in and forever changed that. it devastated them both, to be sure, but they found a way to move on. they had to. we all do. clark eventually ended up with lois lane, an intelligent, confident, strong, goal oriented and attractive woman, but, as fans of the comic full well know, clark is never fully able to 'get over' lana which is why it hurts him so everytime he thinks about her. even superman had to learn the hard way, and it's not a stretch to say that "stones taught him to fly". everyone's got their 'lana lang'. even chicks. although it's kinda intriguing when a chick has her 'lana lang', but, i digress.
a similar, but more excruciating, fate befell our friendly, neighborhood wall-crawling superhero, spiderman. for you see, peter parker had to find an inner strength and resolve sufficient enough to overcome the utter tragedy that resulted from the heart-rending and untimely fate that gwen stacie, his first and truest love, devastatingly met. he was a wreck afterwards and his life was in utter and total disarray. the internal battle that raged within him because of his horrible loss was tearing him apart, "it may sound absurd but don't be naive, even heroes have the right to bleed". his reason for being, for continuing, was pretty darn close to non-existant until a certain red head stepped into his life...and 'saved' him. the subsequent super baddies-ass kicking that followed is an indirect result to her.
to mj.
mary jane.
we should all be so fortunate.
now, if you'll excuse me, gotta find out if one of my 'true loves' is here in mexico, the fried to golden perfection ol' school mcdonalds' apple pie. if not, then i too will have to find a way to move on.
